Category: REFLECTIONS
You just had to be a “REAL ROCKER”
Been thinking about how the life and image of rockers – or at least my interpretation of it – has changed over the years.
There were so many expectations and unwritten rules when I first discovered metal. Granted, I was a teenager, I would have sniffed out the “proper” behavior in any type of community, because you were so eager to fit in. But there weren’t many female role-models, so you became one of the guys.
There were a few “rules” that I remember from back then.
1. Thou shalt not listen to any other type of music because that is extremely uncool (see list of approved bands below)
2. Thou shalt be dressed properly
Examples:
A) Denim jacket or vest, alternatively leather jacket, decorated with badges, patches and large back-patch of your favorite band to gild your creation.
B) Jeans must be stone-washed, dirty and have holes at the knees. Should be as tight as possible.
C) T-shirt with any metal band, doesn’t have to be your favorite band, but no matter what you wear, you must show to the world that you are a true ROCKER (it was like a religion, metalheads were supposed to spread the gospel much like Jehova’s Witnesses…)

D) Footwear: sneakers or boots
E) Accessories: Anything with studs, any kind of studs but preferably these:


You could never ever compromise with the above if you wanted to be cool. I remember walking around in a leather jacket, covered by a denim jacket – OPEN all winter, freezing my ass off (I’m pretty sure my lips were blue and purple every winter) because it was extremely uncool to button your jacket. Probably because you couldn’t show your metal t-shirt properly if you did.
Bands that were considered cool had to be butt ugly and preferably British: Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Motorhead, Ozzy, Sabbath or even Def Leppard (their pre-Hysteria era…) or some got dispensation because they looked and sounded like brits, such as Accept or Anvil or something like that.

It just had to be “manly”, as masculine as possible. Which is why I still don’t really get how the hell MANOWAR could ever be considered the “manliest” band in the world, when they are any gay dude’s wet dream? I mean, seriously – check this out and tell me if that’s not a poster that would look great on any YMCA wall:
[Why would a straight dude want to look at another dude wearing a thong?!]

You really had to be careful what you said and did, what you wore, how you acted – because the slightest thing would make the other “disciples” think you’re not cool enough and not “a TRUE headbanger”.
Actually, some of that still lingers now, at my age (I just don’t give a crap nowadays, I sure as hell don’t need to prove to anyone how “metal” I am anymore). Like the detail that I don’t like beer. Never have, never will. “What kind of rocker are you if you don’t like beer?” is a line I’ll hear in the company of rockers if I say no to a beer.
At some point I even pointed out that metal to me is about choosing your own path, making your own decisions. How cool is it to just follow everybody else’s footsteps? If I want wine instead of beer, and have the balls to say so, regardless the comments I KNOW I’m gonna get – then who’s more metal? Drink your beer and shut up, loser. ;)
The expectations on what was required to be a rocker changed a bit in the mid-/late 80’s, but then people were divided into two groups: “Real” rockers and posers.
The so called “real” rockers were the ones who still wore their denim jackets and sneakers – and then, there was the “posers” who got into the glam-side of the genre and started spraying their hair, wear colorful clothes with glitter (preferably a neon color, pink, yellow, purple…) bandanas and (god forbid) MAKE UP!
[Still “gay”, but in a different kind of way]

As I was on the Judas Priest-side, I remember quickly taking sides against the glam era. I thought they were so embarrassing and so….sissy. I could have puked on bands like Poison, Pretty Boy Floyd or Tygertailz.
But all of that somehow merged as the years went by, because even our own heroes started looking like girls. Even Judas Priest and Whitesnake joined the band-wagon and started to bleach their hair or got bad perms.
And with bands like Skid Row or Guns n’Roses who weren’t old-school metal OR glam/sleaze, the whole scene became accessible to old-school and newbie-rockers. It’s like they were the glue that was needed to unite rockers again.
You could be, or wear, a mix between the old denim-style and whatever glittery you wanted to spice it up with. And it was cool as fuck with guys who used eyeliner and got that “I haven’t slept for three days” kind of look. It wasn’t “gay” anymore.

And speaking of gay, you realized how latently gay the rocker world really was, when Rob Halford came out of the closet. Dudes dug his S&M style for years, and women were pretty much banned in the world of metal in the early days. So you had guys strutting for other guys – and somehow they managed to call it “manly”.
Motley Crue were considered wimps when they first started to appear in magazines with their glam style. But in fact I suppose they were more “manly” than the dudes who were afraid of women back in the day. All of course depending on how you choose to define the word “manly”.
The kiss of death came with the grunge era. Suddenly, all the leather and spandex was out. The sloppy “homeless”-look was in. Baggy, plaid flanel shirts, hair mugs, the roadie-style cargo pants – all of it looked like it was from a Salvation Army dumpster.

Over night, everybody else became uncool. Unless you looked like you belonged in the gutter and listened to Nirvana or Pearl Jam, you had no right to exist in the metal world. It was the dark ages of rock in a way. Many people I knew cut their hair and desperately started looking for something else to identify with. I remember people being very confused during thir period.
The whole religion as we knew it, had been shattered. There were barely any non-grunge bands touring, all the rock clubs that had blossomed in the 80’s closed down, Headbanger’s Ball on MTV didn’t show the kind of music we liked anymore. Everything was just so depressing. The rock scene had been taken over by bands who hated themselves and wanted to die (Nirvana quote).
Eventhough metal came back even after those “dark ages”, fashion or expectations weren’t as distinctive anymore. You could look any way you damned well pleased, pretty much.
But it’s like any other religion, you want to support your beliefs, show the world who you are. So, go to any metal festival in Europe during summer-time, and you’ll notice that people still look like time stood still.

I’m still wearing rock t-shirts, but maybe to a more limited extent. I’ve ditched the denim jackets, and leather is cool to look at but it doesn’t keep you warm when it’s cold out – and when it rains.. forget it. :) Sneakers are still a part of my “rocker identity” but not because I’m trying to prove anything, I just think they are great for everything and still look cool (nowadays you can even buy them in leather and studs).
Metalheads still have the need to show who they are. We still want to be a part of the underground movement it once was, kind of like the punk era. It separates us from “the common people”. Even if we just choose a simple rock t-shirt or our true rocker jeans.
What has changed though, is that after all these years, metal has now landed a different image.Iron Maiden is no longer a band for sweaty young guys – it’s a respected, well known band that even non-rockers know. Bruce Dickinson is invited to speak on BBC news and whatnot, it would never have happened in 1983.
Ozzy is no longer the crazy, dangerous bat-eating madman, he’s the guy on TV who yells:“Sharon!! The fucking TV is stuck on the fucking weather channel!” and is a guest on “Ellen”.
Alice Cooper is seen golfing and supporting the republican party. Quite ironic that the man who has been anything but conservative with his art and music, is now a part of the establishment that would have tried to ban him twenty-thirty years ago.

Things have changed radically. Metal isn’t so shocking anymore. After the shock-rock era ofMarilyn Manson, and after the kind of old and outdated attempts by extreme death-metal bands to create headlines, metal is now almost as accepted as Bruce Springsteen.
And people listening to it don’t have as many rules to follow anymore. Look anyway you want, listen to whatever you like (cause even Bon Jovi is considered hard rock – or you can choose the crossover-bands that mix death metal with techno/pop, such as Amaranthe).
The boundaries are not as tight anymore, there’s not as much to prove as there once was. Back in the day you were fighting for your music to get recognition – but in fact, you didn’t WANT it to be mainstream. You wanted to be a part of that “misunderstood” group of people who were into metal. Because it was like a family of outsiders, and there’s just something appealing about that.

Many rockers who didn’t fit anywhere else, found their home and their identity in metal. Gave them strength in numbers, for sure. That’s probably why it’s still such a rush to be in the crowd of 20 000 people, chanting to our heroes’ classic songs, going absolutely crazy. Metal survived, through everything.
Now, when metal is on national TV (at least here in Sweden it is) it’s as if it’s not “our” music anymore. It’s become mainstream, more or less.
We are rockers and we stuck through it all. I think we’ve finally got something to be proud of. :)
Music from the heart
I was taking a stroll for a bit of early Christmas shopping in beautiful Copenhagen earlier today, and passed a street musician on my way from point A to point B. He was so talented. Great voice, so much heart and soul in his music, it was just him and his acoustic guitar.
I admire street musicians so much, because they are certainly not playing to get rich and famous. They are playing because it’s in their blood, it’s in their whole being. If you want to contribute with a buck or two, feel free, but it’s not mandatory. THAT… is true, unspoiled music the way it’s supposed to be – played for all the right reasons.
The little girl who was singing outside a mall in Manchester recently, stood there for quite a while and I remember her genuine smile as she was singing covers- she had a great voice too. There are just so many people out there who will never “make it”, who will never become stars, never record an album, never be in any music magazines – but they will entertain people in maybe the only true, pure way.
Back in the early 90’s, I was a big fan of two Irish street musicians who used to come to Malmo every summer and perform on the streets during the Malmo streetfest.
The first few years they came here, they arrived with their truck, and they would use the truck platform as their stage. Quite original, but it worked. It was father and son – Adam ‘O Henry (Adam and Henry Kelly) and they would sing predominantly Irish folk-songs, which they made their own – but as the years went by, they started adding some of Adam’s own songs as well – fantastic music, amazing voices… I still get shivers when thinking about it.
[Adam Kelly – started out as a street musician, touring the streets of Europe]

They would have three “shows” a day if I remember it correctly, and I would sit there all day long, because I didn’t want to lose my spot, I loved them.
When they first started, they had pre-recorded backing music that they played and sang to, but later they brought a band and played everything live. They became very popular and I bought their home-made cassettes that they sold after the shows and also their two CD’s.
It was a family business, the band consisted of family members (and others I’d assume…), I think Adam’s mother and uncle, were walking around with hats in the crowd, in case anyone wanted to chip in.
Actually, they even got arrested for singing on the streets, as mentioned in this interview with Henry Kelly:
I heard that you were in Switzerland several times in the prison. What happened there?
Henry Kelly: Oh, that was merry. It was in 1990 and we played in the streets of the large cities, however without public permission. We were taken in safekeeping five or six times, but in a few minutes we were released again.
It’s insane that musicians get arrested for entertaining people, while it’s perfectly legal to attack people on the streets because you want to SELL something… Well, just my humble opinion.
Anyway, I don’t know if the story was true, but Henry, was a cross country truck driver in the States (lived somewhere right outside of Boston) and he asked Adam what he wanted to do with his life. When Adam answered that he wanted to play music, Henry quit his job and took Adam out on the road to play on the streets of Europe – mainly in Germany. The duo eventually made it to indoor venues as well.
I asked them at some point howcome they didn’t try to get a record deal. Adam’s voice was out of this world, it’s one of the most beautiful voices I’d ever heard. Turns out that they had actually BEEN offered a deal by EMI, but declined.
The reason being that they thought a label would kill their creativity by telling them what to do. It could also mean that if they didn’t fall in line, they would get dumped, and their career would be over. They wanted to stay in control of their own destiny, just be free to do what they wanted to do – their own way. So they produced their home-made music, which was definitely worth every buck.
Things went well for Adam, when he joined the popular Kelly Family and went on world tours, even making TV-appearances.
Found a fan-page with a bit of background:
Adam Kelly and his father Henry Lawrence Kelly formed their duo, which they called Adam O’Henry in 1987.
With a guitar, their two voices and their believe in themselves and their music they went to North of Spain where they sang on the streets.
In the years 1988 to 1995 Adam and Henry travelled through Austria, Italia, Hungry, Spain, Sweden, Norway and other spectacular countries, singing on the streets.
In the years 1988 to 1994 Adam O’Henry toured with The Kelly Family, warming up the audience and singing in the Kellys’ breaks.In 1996 they had gained a big fan crowd and went on from the streets to music- and concert halls. In 1997 Adam started performing with his cousins in The Kelly Family.
Henry was tired and felt too old to travel around. But in the summer 1999 at the Malmö-festival in Sweden, father and son made a comeback (with Angelo Kelly on the drums). He now lives in America.
I don’t know if Henry is still alive, the last I read was that he had passed, but I’m not sure… I just wanted to share music that was played in the streets here in Malmö, that many people probably still have very fond memories of. Far away from everything that has to do with big business, just stripped down to what it’s supposed to be about – pure music.
Here they are – from 1995, Adam’s own song “Flames of love”:
Adam in a more recent video – minus the hair. :)
Groupies… here we go again.
A colleague, who’s fairly new at work, invited us over for dinner at her place the other night. We were chatting about this and that, then she suddenly asks me if I had “ever” been a groupie.
– Well it just seems like it would be a natural thing, you know, as you’ve been hanging with musicians, rock stars, for so long…? Haven’t you, I mean, you know…ever….?
She didn’t mean it in a judgemental, bad sort of way, she was just sincerely curious.
I wanted to say so many things, I was about to write another blog about it – then realized there already is one from last year on the same topic (https://lita77777.com/rocknroll-women)
I just felt that I had to explain, to make her understand what I’m about.
Before I even started writing about music, I was a fan like everybody else. Guys who are in bands today – successful or less successful, were the same back in their teens – FANS.
We were all just there for the music – then we went different ways to find our own place in that world. Some became musicians, some TV-hosts, some radio DJ’s, others club owners, record company people, roadies, managers, journalists – and well, some became…groupies,
I’ve just never been able to identify with the role of a groupie. I simply don’t have the personality for it. I’m old-school, the idea of being with some dude that I barely know, just bacause he’s in a band, doesn’t appeal to me at all. That’s one thing.
The second thing is – back in my autograph-collecting days, I looked up to a lot of people, they were on a different level somehow. They were heroes, gods almost. I couldn’t even picture them in a “human” (sexual) situation, as sweaty, huffing and puffing, regular men. I didn’t want that image in my head.
I wanted the larger-than-life image of them, where they were these fantastic sort of men who created music that would live forever, music that touched me, that changed and enriched my life in so many ways.
[David Coverdale was a GOD, a very sexy one, but nevertheless a hero more than some regular dude :)]

I definitely didn’t want to sleep with any of them, god no. That’s not what they were for, the way I looked at it. It was okay for chicks who barely knew WHO they were screwing to do that. As long as it was some guy in a famous band that they could brag about later, they didn’t care.
Never been my thing, never will be.
And it’s strange how I’ve always had to deal with people who just assumed that I was a groupie. Many years ago, I received a very angry e-mail from a legendary guitarist’s wife, who just spewed our her disgust over “people like me”. I read her mail, with eyes as big as plates, then read it again, and dropped my jaw and again….shaking my head. What the f…..??
To this day I don’t know who she took me for, or why she even thought that I had done anything at all with her husband! I met him maybe twice and one of those two times we were in the hotel bar having drinks, laughing, talking, whatever – and it was not “him and me” – it was the whole damn BAND, crew and fans. It wasn’t exactly a date, and definitely not whatever she thought.
I suppose I was just chosen as an easy target because I was visible out there on the web and she was frustrated with her husband’s way of life. From what I heard, they divorced a few months later, but it was probably not a match made in heaven anyway.
Another time I heard rumors, years later, that I had supposedly “been” with the bassplayer of one of the bands I used to hang with. To make the story more believable, there were “details” about when and where. First of all, I’m not the groupie type, so just to hear stories about this “imaginary me” was fascinating.
It was the first time I experienced being a part of a rumor that wasn’t anywhere near anything that had to do with reality. Total fiction. First I was angry, but then I figured I should have been flattered that someone bothered making up those stories in the first place.
Anyway – that story would have been exposed as a complete lie if anyone had ever bothered to check the facts when it started circulating. The bassist in question had been taken to the emergency room that night because of an overdose. It was kept from the press, because the band was “the big thing”, the moneymakers that year, and the label (and everybody in the big machinery surrounding the band), kept the whole thing private. It lever leaked (much to my surprise actually…).
I wouldn’t have said anything even if asked, it wasn’t for me to start blabbing about that. But if somebody else started digging, they might have found out.
And today, it would be just ridiculous to call me “groupie”. I’ve lived in this rock’n’roll world my whole life, I’m integrated in it in every single way, both as “just a fan” and as a professional. It all depends on the situation. I barely know people who aren’t either musicians, or in some other way in the business. I never tried getting any favors by acting slutty. I don’t need to. I never did.
I don’t know if my colleague understood what I was saying but I think she did. Groupies are a part of the rock’n’roll lifestyle I suppose, guys would go nuts on the road if there weren’t chicks somewhere who were willing to “put out” along the way. Whatever happens on the road, stays on the road – that sort of thing.
Everybody knows that it’s happening, at least every now and then. But frankly – it happens in an office just as much, it’s just not as interesting to mention. Some bands brag about doing groupies because it makes them heroes among guys who are less “lucky”. Other bands are sticking to their wives and girlfriends – and there are more of them today than there used to be, which I guess proves that even musicians can be decent human beings sometimes. ;))
The groupie-thing is much less of a deal than it was in the 80’s and early 90’s, that’s for sure. I’m just not that type and that’s all there is to it. :)
A voice…from the other side

I was searching for the e-mail address of a friend that I haven’t talked to in a very long time, and made a search in my Hotmail inbox.
One of the first things that popped up was a sender with his name written in capital letters: DAVE LEPARD
It was written in August 2002 – more than ten years ago now.
I opened it out of curiosity and, translated, this is what it said:
Fuck, I’m really jealous of your meetings with Baz and the boys. Damn. But I’ve had bit of luck with the Skids too because I have a few pals in NY who know Seb and the fact is, he’s listened to a record we did with my band CRASH DIET. Real fuckin’ Motley, Skid Row-kickass kind of music. Hmmm, oh well, I’m gonna copy this letter and try sending it to your other e-mail address as well… would be cool to hear from you. ///Lepardman, Uppsala
It dawned on me that it was from “the” Dave Lepard, who at the time was fronting the glam/sleaze band Crash Diet. The, at the time, unsigned band Crash Diet.
I remember finding one of their demos among my CD’s years ago, and I never realized that it might have any actual value, so I put it on eBay, thought I’d be lucky if I got ten bucks for it. I set the “Buy Now” price to $25 and thought that nobody would buy it. It took about ten minutes and it was sold! I regret selling it now, but needed the cash at the time. :-(
The demo came with a hand-written note from Dave with a short description of the band – and the cover was a photo-copied ugly thing…
Anyway, when I received that e-mail, he was just one of many who used to write to me. I guess I didn’t pay much attention. Some guy who was in some band. There are tons of them, you stop taking notice really, unless somebody really sticks out. It’s sad, but inevitable when you get lots of material from so many in a never ending stream….
I don’t know if I ever replied to Dave – maybe I did from my other e-mail that he said he was sending his mail to. Looks like he was really eager to get in touch with me.
“This guy” later became a glam-icon, a cult-figure, after his suicide in January 2006 – at the age of 25… Which means he was only 21 when he wrote that e-mail.
Crash Diet got signed by Universal in 2005 and got a big hit with “Riot In Everyone” – the first single from the debut album “Rest in sleaze“.
You will have to Google the whole story or get a short version here: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/crashdïet-mn0000756884
It just made me feel low, because it’s so sad that a talented guy with such drive and such love for music, chose to end his life – and so young. He had so much to live for.
And then I find his mail, which made me even more sad because I had almost forgotten that he tried to get in touch with me all those years ago.
His mail just popped up – like a voice from the other side. Amazing how these digital traces continue to live on even when the people who left them are gone.
He did get to enjoy his success for a short while, and that counts for something I guess.
Just becomes a reminder that the kid off the street who says he’s “in a band” might actually make a difference within his field someday, become important to a lot of people. This “kid” certainly did.
Rest in peace, Dave.
A voice…from the other side

[click for a larger version]
This… just made me feel so aware of how fragile and elusive life is, and how little we know about what we’ve really got in this right HERE and right NOW sometimes…
I was searching for the e-mail address of a friend that I haven’t talked to in a very long time, and made a search in my Hotmail inbox.
One of the first things that popped up was a sender with his name written in capital letters: DAVE LEPARD
It was written in August 2002 – more than ten years ago now.
I opened it out of curiosity and, translated, this is what it said:
Fuck, I’m really jealous of your meetings with Baz and the boys. Damn. But I’ve had bit of luck with the Skids too because I have a few pals in NY who know Seb and the fact is, he’s listened to a record we did with my band CRASH DIET. Real fuckin’ Motley, Skid Row-kickass kind of music. Hmmm, oh well, I’m gonna copy this letter and try sending it to your other e-mail address as well… would be cool to hear from you. ///Lepardman, Uppsala
It dawned on me that it was from “the” Dave Lepard, who at the time was fronting the glam/sleaze band Crash Diet. The, at the time, unsigned band Crash Diet.
I remember finding one of their demos among my CD’s years ago, and I never realized that it might have any actual value, so I put it on eBay, thought I’d be lucky if I got ten bucks for it. I set the “Buy Now” price to $25 and thought that nobody would buy it. It took about ten minutes and it was sold! I regret selling it now, but needed the cash at the time. :-(
The demo came with a hand-written note from Dave with a short description of the band – and the cover was a photo-copied ugly thing…
Anyway, when I received that e-mail, he was just one of many who used to write to me. I guess I didn’t pay much attention. Some guy who was in some band. There are tons of them, you stop taking notice really, unless somebody really sticks out. It’s sad, but inevitable when you get lots of material from so many in a never ending stream….
I don’t know if I ever replied to Dave – maybe I did from my other e-mail that he said he was sending his mail to. Looks like he was really eager to get in touch with me.
“This guy” later became a glam-icon, a cult-figure, after his suicide in January 2006 – at the age of 25… Which means he was only 21 when he wrote that e-mail.
Crash Diet got signed by Universal in 2005 and got a big hit with “Riot In Everyone” – the first single from the debut album “Rest in sleaze“.
You will have to Google the whole story or get a short version here: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/crashdïet-mn0000756884
It just made me feel low, because it’s so sad that a talented guy with such drive and such love for music, chose to end his life – and so young. He had so much to live for.
And then I find his mail, which made me even more sad because I had almost forgotten that he tried to get in touch with me all those years ago.
His mail just popped up – like a voice from the other side. Amazing how these digital traces continue to live on even when the people who left them are gone.
He did get to enjoy his success for a short while, and that counts for something I guess.
Just becomes a reminder that the kid off the street who says he’s “in a band” might actually make a difference within his field someday, become important to a lot of people. This “kid” certainly did.
Rest in sleaze, Dave.




