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Groupies… here we go again.
A colleague, who’s fairly new at work, invited us over for dinner at her place the other night. We were chatting about this and that, then she suddenly asks me if I had “ever” been a groupie.
– Well it just seems like it would be a natural thing, you know, as you’ve been hanging with musicians, rock stars, for so long…? Haven’t you, I mean, you know…ever….?
She didn’t mean it in a judgemental, bad sort of way, she was just sincerely curious.
I wanted to say so many things, I was about to write another blog about it – then realized there already is one from last year on the same topic (https://lita77777.com/rocknroll-women)
I just felt that I had to explain, to make her understand what I’m about.
Before I even started writing about music, I was a fan like everybody else. Guys who are in bands today – successful or less successful, were the same back in their teens – FANS.
We were all just there for the music – then we went different ways to find our own place in that world. Some became musicians, some TV-hosts, some radio DJ’s, others club owners, record company people, roadies, managers, journalists – and well, some became…groupies,
I’ve just never been able to identify with the role of a groupie. I simply don’t have the personality for it. I’m old-school, the idea of being with some dude that I barely know, just bacause he’s in a band, doesn’t appeal to me at all. That’s one thing.
The second thing is – back in my autograph-collecting days, I looked up to a lot of people, they were on a different level somehow. They were heroes, gods almost. I couldn’t even picture them in a “human” (sexual) situation, as sweaty, huffing and puffing, regular men. I didn’t want that image in my head.
I wanted the larger-than-life image of them, where they were these fantastic sort of men who created music that would live forever, music that touched me, that changed and enriched my life in so many ways.
[David Coverdale was a GOD, a very sexy one, but nevertheless a hero more than some regular dude :)]
I definitely didn’t want to sleep with any of them, god no. That’s not what they were for, the way I looked at it. It was okay for chicks who barely knew WHO they were screwing to do that. As long as it was some guy in a famous band that they could brag about later, they didn’t care.
Never been my thing, never will be.
And it’s strange how I’ve always had to deal with people who just assumed that I was a groupie. Many years ago, I received a very angry e-mail from a legendary guitarist’s wife, who just spewed our her disgust over “people like me”. I read her mail, with eyes as big as plates, then read it again, and dropped my jaw and again….shaking my head. What the f…..??
To this day I don’t know who she took me for, or why she even thought that I had done anything at all with her husband! I met him maybe twice and one of those two times we were in the hotel bar having drinks, laughing, talking, whatever – and it was not “him and me” – it was the whole damn BAND, crew and fans. It wasn’t exactly a date, and definitely not whatever she thought.
I suppose I was just chosen as an easy target because I was visible out there on the web and she was frustrated with her husband’s way of life. From what I heard, they divorced a few months later, but it was probably not a match made in heaven anyway.
Another time I heard rumors, years later, that I had supposedly “been” with the bassplayer of one of the bands I used to hang with. To make the story more believable, there were “details” about when and where. First of all, I’m not the groupie type, so just to hear stories about this “imaginary me” was fascinating.
It was the first time I experienced being a part of a rumor that wasn’t anywhere near anything that had to do with reality. Total fiction. First I was angry, but then I figured I should have been flattered that someone bothered making up those stories in the first place.
Anyway – that story would have been exposed as a complete lie if anyone had ever bothered to check the facts when it started circulating. The bassist in question had been taken to the emergency room that night because of an overdose. It was kept from the press, because the band was “the big thing”, the moneymakers that year, and the label (and everybody in the big machinery surrounding the band), kept the whole thing private. It lever leaked (much to my surprise actually…).
I wouldn’t have said anything even if asked, it wasn’t for me to start blabbing about that. But if somebody else started digging, they might have found out.
And today, it would be just ridiculous to call me “groupie”. I’ve lived in this rock’n’roll world my whole life, I’m integrated in it in every single way, both as “just a fan” and as a professional. It all depends on the situation. I barely know people who aren’t either musicians, or in some other way in the business. I never tried getting any favors by acting slutty. I don’t need to. I never did.
I don’t know if my colleague understood what I was saying but I think she did. Groupies are a part of the rock’n’roll lifestyle I suppose, guys would go nuts on the road if there weren’t chicks somewhere who were willing to “put out” along the way. Whatever happens on the road, stays on the road – that sort of thing.
Everybody knows that it’s happening, at least every now and then. But frankly – it happens in an office just as much, it’s just not as interesting to mention. Some bands brag about doing groupies because it makes them heroes among guys who are less “lucky”. Other bands are sticking to their wives and girlfriends – and there are more of them today than there used to be, which I guess proves that even musicians can be decent human beings sometimes. ;))
The groupie-thing is much less of a deal than it was in the 80’s and early 90’s, that’s for sure. I’m just not that type and that’s all there is to it. :)
A voice…from the other side
I was searching for the e-mail address of a friend that I haven’t talked to in a very long time, and made a search in my Hotmail inbox.
One of the first things that popped up was a sender with his name written in capital letters: DAVE LEPARD
It was written in August 2002 – more than ten years ago now.
I opened it out of curiosity and, translated, this is what it said:
Fuck, I’m really jealous of your meetings with Baz and the boys. Damn. But I’ve had bit of luck with the Skids too because I have a few pals in NY who know Seb and the fact is, he’s listened to a record we did with my band CRASH DIET. Real fuckin’ Motley, Skid Row-kickass kind of music. Hmmm, oh well, I’m gonna copy this letter and try sending it to your other e-mail address as well… would be cool to hear from you. ///Lepardman, Uppsala
It dawned on me that it was from “the” Dave Lepard, who at the time was fronting the glam/sleaze band Crash Diet. The, at the time, unsigned band Crash Diet.
I remember finding one of their demos among my CD’s years ago, and I never realized that it might have any actual value, so I put it on eBay, thought I’d be lucky if I got ten bucks for it. I set the “Buy Now” price to $25 and thought that nobody would buy it. It took about ten minutes and it was sold! I regret selling it now, but needed the cash at the time. :-(
The demo came with a hand-written note from Dave with a short description of the band – and the cover was a photo-copied ugly thing…
Anyway, when I received that e-mail, he was just one of many who used to write to me. I guess I didn’t pay much attention. Some guy who was in some band. There are tons of them, you stop taking notice really, unless somebody really sticks out. It’s sad, but inevitable when you get lots of material from so many in a never ending stream….
I don’t know if I ever replied to Dave – maybe I did from my other e-mail that he said he was sending his mail to. Looks like he was really eager to get in touch with me.
“This guy” later became a glam-icon, a cult-figure, after his suicide in January 2006 – at the age of 25… Which means he was only 21 when he wrote that e-mail.
Crash Diet got signed by Universal in 2005 and got a big hit with “Riot In Everyone” – the first single from the debut album “Rest in sleaze“.
You will have to Google the whole story or get a short version here: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/crashdïet-mn0000756884
It just made me feel low, because it’s so sad that a talented guy with such drive and such love for music, chose to end his life – and so young. He had so much to live for.
And then I find his mail, which made me even more sad because I had almost forgotten that he tried to get in touch with me all those years ago.
His mail just popped up – like a voice from the other side. Amazing how these digital traces continue to live on even when the people who left them are gone.
He did get to enjoy his success for a short while, and that counts for something I guess.
Just becomes a reminder that the kid off the street who says he’s “in a band” might actually make a difference within his field someday, become important to a lot of people. This “kid” certainly did.
Rest in peace, Dave.
A voice…from the other side
[click for a larger version]
This… just made me feel so aware of how fragile and elusive life is, and how little we know about what we’ve really got in this right HERE and right NOW sometimes…
I was searching for the e-mail address of a friend that I haven’t talked to in a very long time, and made a search in my Hotmail inbox.
One of the first things that popped up was a sender with his name written in capital letters: DAVE LEPARD
It was written in August 2002 – more than ten years ago now.
I opened it out of curiosity and, translated, this is what it said:
Fuck, I’m really jealous of your meetings with Baz and the boys. Damn. But I’ve had bit of luck with the Skids too because I have a few pals in NY who know Seb and the fact is, he’s listened to a record we did with my band CRASH DIET. Real fuckin’ Motley, Skid Row-kickass kind of music. Hmmm, oh well, I’m gonna copy this letter and try sending it to your other e-mail address as well… would be cool to hear from you. ///Lepardman, Uppsala
It dawned on me that it was from “the” Dave Lepard, who at the time was fronting the glam/sleaze band Crash Diet. The, at the time, unsigned band Crash Diet.
I remember finding one of their demos among my CD’s years ago, and I never realized that it might have any actual value, so I put it on eBay, thought I’d be lucky if I got ten bucks for it. I set the “Buy Now” price to $25 and thought that nobody would buy it. It took about ten minutes and it was sold! I regret selling it now, but needed the cash at the time. :-(
The demo came with a hand-written note from Dave with a short description of the band – and the cover was a photo-copied ugly thing…
Anyway, when I received that e-mail, he was just one of many who used to write to me. I guess I didn’t pay much attention. Some guy who was in some band. There are tons of them, you stop taking notice really, unless somebody really sticks out. It’s sad, but inevitable when you get lots of material from so many in a never ending stream….
I don’t know if I ever replied to Dave – maybe I did from my other e-mail that he said he was sending his mail to. Looks like he was really eager to get in touch with me.
“This guy” later became a glam-icon, a cult-figure, after his suicide in January 2006 – at the age of 25… Which means he was only 21 when he wrote that e-mail.
Crash Diet got signed by Universal in 2005 and got a big hit with “Riot In Everyone” – the first single from the debut album “Rest in sleaze“.
You will have to Google the whole story or get a short version here: http://www.allmusic.com/artist/crashdïet-mn0000756884
It just made me feel low, because it’s so sad that a talented guy with such drive and such love for music, chose to end his life – and so young. He had so much to live for.
And then I find his mail, which made me even more sad because I had almost forgotten that he tried to get in touch with me all those years ago.
His mail just popped up – like a voice from the other side. Amazing how these digital traces continue to live on even when the people who left them are gone.
He did get to enjoy his success for a short while, and that counts for something I guess.
Just becomes a reminder that the kid off the street who says he’s “in a band” might actually make a difference within his field someday, become important to a lot of people. This “kid” certainly did.
Rest in sleaze, Dave.
Interview nightmares!
It will be a quiet evening today. Things really happen very quickly in this fickle business…
An interview opportunity turned up only about a day ago and was supposed to take place here in Malmo this afternoon or evening.
The tour manager didn’t get back to me all day. But he finally explained why the whole thing fell through – in the last minute: The interviewee was sick and had to rest today, in order to perform scheduled duties tomorrow. An explanation and an apology is all I need. Everything OK, no prob.
Maybe sometimes it’s only a last minute excuse for something else, but that’s fine, as long as people don’t compromise my time.
Looking back, there have been a few interviews from hell. Artists that have only answered “yes” or “no” to everything, artists that got drunk, turned the interview into a circus, trashed the bar before passing out, artists who have flirted instead of doing their job, and well, a little bit of everything. ;P
Not only the artists, the people around them can be quite a pain in the ass too.
The first time I experienced it was back in 1990 when Alice Cooper was in Malmo and was staying at the SAS Royal Hotel. I had an interview scheduled and had booked a photographer as this was supposed to be a center spread. A professional photographer who charges by the hour. You don’t want to waste his time.
Alice’s assistant called me three or four times that day telling me that it WAS okay with the photo-session, then it wasn’t okay, then it was…and then it wasn’t.
I kept calling the photographer yes-no-yes-no... It was embarrassing and annoying. It all ended with this: I wasn’t allowed to bring a photographer, but was welcome to do the interview on my own.
Thank god I brought my own little simple camera – and then asked the assistant to take a pic of Alice and me. It wasn’t a good shot, but it’s the ONLY one from THAT particular meeting. I’ll never forget the drama though!
[Alice Cooper in his hotel room at SAS Radisson, 1990]
A similar thing happened with Blackie Lawless (W.A.S.P) in the beginning of 2000 when W.A.S.P played in Malmo. My cellphone kept ringing off the hook that day. Blackie would do the interview. Blackie was not going to do the interview. Blackie WAS going to…. oh, geeez! The last thing I heard was that Blackie was fine with doing the interview and I was welcome to the venue at five o’clock or whatever it was, right after sound check.
I got there, set up my recorder, prepared my questions… I looked up, and in walks… Stet Howland (the drummer)!??
They sent STET to do the interview instead of Blackie – cause “the man” had decided to go and TAKE A NAP on the bus…. *sigh* Don’t get me wrong, Stet is a funny and a nice guy, but you want to know who you will be talking to BEFORE you get there.
Or Pete Steele – Type O Negative (RIP) he acted like a rock star diva at first. He did the interview alright, and it was a really good and interesting one by the way, but then he suddenly decided that he didn’t want to do the photo session. And the photographer was already on her way to the venue with all her studio equipment…!
But then, when she started taking pics of the other guys in the band, Pete got curious and walked over to check it out. He ended up getting so into it that it took hours before the photo session was done! Killer, killer photos! Wish I had a few of them….
Then there was Ville Valo, HIM-frontman. The first interview I did with him, he was great. Interesting conversation, very polite and all that… The SECOND time, maybe one or two years later, his attitude sucked..!
When I got there, Ville and the drummer were…not exactly sitting, more hanging, in their chairs looking bored before I had even as much as said hello. Oh, lovely… Didn’t matter what I asked, they just didn’t want to talk. Instead, they would give deliberately stupid answers or laugh at eachother’s jokes.
I was pissed off. We both have a job to do, why waste my time if they weren’t going to do theirs?! Got even worse when the photographer tried to take a pic of Ville. He had some beanie on his head that he had pulled so far down his face that his eyes barely showed.
She asked if he could remove it. His response was: “No!” So she asked if he could maybe lift it up slightly. He went: “No” then she asked if he could maybe look up a bit at least. He barely felt like doing that. She managed to take one – maybe two pics before he just got up and walked out of the room! WTF?!
Oh and by the way – I didn’t write a word about HIM after that. Total waste of time.
[Ville from the first interview, maybe a year earlier. Nice guy, good interview. Things can certainly change quickly]
Shortly thereafter, same venue – interview scheduled with German band Helloween. The guy I was about to interview was at the venue, but didn’t show until 2 hours too late. His excuse? He had to “take a shower”…. Must be the cleanest rock star in the business…
Mike Monroe – oh my god. This is a long story but the “worst” one yet. :) The photographer and I were working on a book project in collaboration with Sweden Rock Magazine many years ago, and Mike Monroe and Andy McCoy were to be featured in the book.
The photo session was supposed to take place at Savoy hotel – photographer had managed to negotiate an hour in a very old and cool part of this hotel’s restaurant, before they opened that day. When Mike didn’t show, I went to the hotel down the street to find out what was going on.
It didn’t take so long for Mike to come downstairs but…when he realized that there was a photo shoot involved (that was the most important part of the whole interview!) he disappeared back to his room, stating that in THAT case, he needed to fix his makeup.
It took FOREVER for him to get back and the clock was ticking… the location wouldn’t be available for much longer. Once he got there and did the shoot – he did a brilliant job I can’t say anything about that. He was an absolute pro in that respect. But then, before leaving, he climbed into an antique grandfather clock from the early 1800’s, causing us to get banned from the hotel because of it…
He and Andy wanted to eat “before the interivew” and asked if there was good Indian food somewhere nearby. There was only ONE, and a pretty expensive one, since it’s right in the tourist district… Neither me or the photographer had counted on anything like that, and we were both pretty much broke.
[Don’t take these guys to a restaurant if you’re short on cash…]
I ordered a soda. Mike and Andy (and Mike’s girlfriend) ordered starters, entrees, dessert, drinks –everything on the menu, well, not far from it. The table was FULL of plates and glasses. The interview? Well…. He said “ask whatever...” while eating, so it was an unusual scenario but he wasn’t really in the mood for an intrerview and I got some stupid or very short answers. Funny, cause I had spoken w. Mike the year before and THEN he had been really cool.
Anyway… Suddenly, Mike takes his napkin, wipes his mouth, gets up and says: “Thanks! Bye!”
Andy and the girlfriend followed him, left the restaurant…and left us with the bill! That bill was as long as my ARM! We didn’t have money for representation and this had not been in the plans at all.
The magazine, of course, didn’t want to pay for it, the record company said they had nothing to do with that and the management said they knew nothing about a restaurant visit. So, we emptied our pockets and used our credit cards to the last penny we had. And the interview hadn’t even been worth it….
Oh – and I’ve STILL got that receipt as a souvenir!
Interviews don’t always turn out as planned. But I guess that if they did, I wouldn’t have all this stuff to look back on – in the rearview mirror. ;)
Greed, betrayals – scandalous biographies
Reading one of our Swedish tabloids…. On today’s news is the Swedish king’s former mistress from the pop act Army of Lovers – Camilla Henemark, also known as “La Camilla“.
Nobody gave a fuck about her for years. Now she sees her opportunity to get her ass back in the spotlight with the help of an autobiography where she exposes every celebrity that she’s somehow been “involved” with.
It’s been all over the news because she supposedly had an affair with the king of Sweden – and now she’s giving us the details – woo hoo. They were throwing sushi at eachother, rolling around on the floor, whatever whatever. Too much info.
My question is… Why do I need to know this? To me it’s just as uncomfortable as listening to a stranger’s private conversation on the bus. It’s none of my business. Your food-fights are between you and the other person. whether it’s your neighbor or the King of fucking Sweden.
Why is this considered useful information for anyone else – at all? All this nasty crap is beginning to bug me. La Camilla is far from the first or the only one who’s done this.
Another one that comes to mind is a Swedish rock journalist who I used to admire and look up to when I was a teenager. I’m not so sure that the respect I once had is so intact anymore.
A while back he wrote his memoirs – and made sure to include all the dirt and nasty details he could think of about the “rock stars” he had gotten close to throughout the years.
When asked about it, he said that it’s all cool, he had asked all the exposed artists if they were okay with it and according to him they’ve all been absolutely thrilled about being hung out to dry.
So, he’s basically cashing in on the fact that he’s been a part of the industry and was lucky enough to see and hear all those “juicy” things. It’s of course HIS choice how he chooses to portray himself, but how much of a choice was it for the people mentioned in the bio?
Now he’s written an unauthorized biography about Yngwie Malmsteen, kind of saying that it’s the only way to get “the truth” as Yngwie himself doesn’t like NOT being adored.
Well – that last part I actually do believe, because Yngwie is kind of “special” that way. :)
The point that I’m gettig at here is that it’s become a trend to expose other people for your own benefit.
It’s been done many many times, especially by groupies whose only claim to fame is that they’ve fucked guys who managed to do something with their lives and got famous for their music. So – a blowjob or a few orgies is all it takes to make a groupie a celebrity. Easy.
People haven’t evolved since they were cheering at gladiators killing eachother in a ring or watching witches being burned at the stake.
Someone else’s misery is enjoyable to so many. As much in 2012 as in 2012 B.C.
Groupies are one thing, seems that some of them are only doing it to get themselves a bit of the spotlight (although, I see a big difference between the “old school” groupies such as Pamela DesBarres or Bebe Buell and the modern groupie chicks ).
But… when it comes to people who have been close to a band – such as managers, crew people, girlfriends, wives, journalists…. To me it feels like it’s an unwritten rule that if you’re part of the circus, be cool about it for christ’s sake. It’s like any other kind of friendship – where’s the loyalty and the integrity when you go public with the things you’ve seen when being a part of the rock’n’roll package??
That old saying “Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” is a rule that applies to the world of music as well. Whatever happens on tour….
None of these “authors” would like their own dirty laundry on display – the difference is that the celebrity can’t hit back with the same weapon, because nobody gives a shit about….a nobody.
It’s an abuse of power that’s really disturbing, when people who have had the opportunity to get to know someone in the entertainment-industry, suddenly decide to dig out all those secrets that were supposed to be kept private – and turn it into public entertainment.
I’ve been betrayed by friends, people I trusted, and it’s a horrible feeling. For most of us it doesn’t become public knowledge. As a celebrity you’re always risking that. It blows when some make rock stars or movie stars targets for these “reveal it all” sort of books. It’s fucking crap and I lose respect for the people who do it. They would sell their mother if they could benefit from it.
This might be a stupid example because it’s on a totally different level than the Yngwie or the “I screwed the king”-thing, but two years ago I had an idea to write a book about the time spent with Jon Oliva’s Pain. It was supposed to be something from a different perspective as I’m not a groupie so it would be written from an angle that people might not be used to.
But after maybe 50 pages or so, I gave up. It just didn’t feel right. Where do you draw the line between privacy and what’s okay to expose in public?
These people welcomed me into their life on the road, shared whatever was theirs with me – food, bus, whatever, and most of all, they always welcomed me with open arms everywhere. And most of them are still my friends.
Not that there was any “Motley Crue” sort of dirt to expose, but just in general – what would they be cool with and what would be stepping over boundaries…? It wasn’t as obvious as I had thought when I first began. I just ditched the whole thing.
I’ve written about “rock stars” for 25 years now. I admit that I made some mistakes, especially when I was younger, because I was so eager to build myself a career and show that I was as tough as the journalists I thought were cool at the time. I wanted to get to the top, no matter what.
I was thrown into this crazy circus as a teenager and was schooled in the world of tabloids. Whatever made a good story was okay, no matter who you hurt in the process or how much of an ass you had to be to get the scoop. I used to think that was true. I don’t anymore and I haven’t for many years.
This (article above) from the early 90’s was my wake-up call.
Sebastian Bach called one evening, as a friend – not an interview. They were off the road and in the studio, recording for what was to become “Slave To The Grind“. After the call I figured it was a “world exclusive” as they weren’t doing interviews at the time. So I turned the private call into a sensation article for the biggest music magazine in Sweden – OKEJ.
I felt horrible shortly after seeing it published, it was so wrong. Guess you don’t learn your lesson unless you’ve already screwed up. I talked to Baz about it after, apologized from the bottom of my heart. He took it a lot better than I had, to him it was just publicity and he was cool with it. However, I NEVER did that again, goddamn awful…!
If an editor in chief wants me to dig up the dirt on someone, to sell a few extra copies of a magazine, he can count me out. Find someone else to do it. I want to sleep at night with a clear conscience – I’m not in this business to be an asshole and I’m not in it for the money either. I got in it for the love of music when I was a teenager and to this day it’s still the sole reason why I’m still here.
I’ve seen and heard plenty of shit throughout the years (especially hanging with Skid Row in their heyday, you can imagine…) but I’ve deliberately left out the worst and juciest stories. Those I’m taking with me to the grave.
Everything is of course always subject to your own evaluation and judgement. I’ve written about stuff that I thought was funny or just as a piece of trivia, but nowadays I’m definitely not interested in remembering the eighties and nineties for the sake of causing a “sensation”.
Fuck that. It’s tasteless and greedy and it just shows that the people who write these books really have no morals whatsoever. Could be that the people they’re writing about are total pigs and “deserve” being exposed, but at the end of the day, it’s not about who other people choose to be. It’s who YOU choose to be. It’s always about oneself, not others.
It’s one thing to write your autobiography, but leave the nastiness out of it and don’t make decisions for someone else what should or shouldn’t become public knowledge. There’s already a Metal Sludge, the world doesn’t need more of that.
IN THE REARVIEW MIRROR 