Rockers and groupies – why they need eachother


My friend Vera from Russia came to visit me Friday & Saturday, and on Saturday morning she came out with this book that she found in my book- and magazine-piles. :) Well, I just had to buy a book that had a title like THAT…! She was flipping through the pages, changing her facial expressions for every new funny or interesting fact she read in the book, but there was of course a lot of laughing.

One of the things that one of the “rock stars” answered when asked what he thought was a complete turnoff, was that he didn’t like if the girl had any insecurities. She had to be confident, that was sexy.

It got me thinking. It’s a well known fact that the things you don’t like about yourself, are also the things you will dislike in other people. And it’s not really a secret that musicians aren’t necessarily the most confident people in the world.

Steel Panther used that as a joke at the show the other day – “Our drummer isn’t as handsome as the rest of us, yet he gets laid! Do you think he would ever get laid if he wasn’t in a band? Hell no!”

That was a joke, but musicians often admit that they became musicians because it would “get them chicks”. So, for some reason, they didn’t quite believe that they would be able to “get chicks” just by relying on their own personalities, by just being who they are – plain and simple.

I’ve written about this before, attention-seeking rock stars, who are addicted to the admiration they get from fans, and of course the kick they get from feeling desirable by women (preferably women that other men want). It gives them credibility – and insecure people need that.

That’s also the reason why rich and famous men tend to marry models and actresses – to show OTHERS what they got. It’s like any other posession – a new big TV, a flashy car… That generates more admiration, which in some cases seems more important than true love.

Which brings me to “part two” of the whole equation. Many groupies have the same issues – they are looking for validation just as much as the “rock star” is. By scoring a rock star, they think that “if I could get a guy like THAT who could have any other chick he wants, then I must be worth something!”. The guy is thinking the same: “If I can screw chicks like THIS one, who wouldn’t give a rats ass if I wasn’t in a band, I must be worth something!”

Probably not in those words, but you get my point.

[Jon Bon Jovi with some lady who most likely was not his wife ;) ]

Even Bon Jovi's groupies had big hair only their ones came in bikinis! (Getty Images)

There are quite a few issues on both sides, most likely. Why do rock stars screw around? Because they can, because it reinforces the idea that they need to have about themselves – that they are attractive and desirable.
They can brag about it in interviews (hello Motley Crue) and get little teenage boys to look up to them. Teenage boys who are probably being told to piss off when approaching a girl – so they need heroes to show them how to get away from that whole “evil circle”. 

It’s pretty interesting to witness the whole thing. Even more interesting when the rock stars are being treated like heroes for getting all the girls – whereas the girls are being treated like sluts for doing the same thing and for ,probably, similar reasons.

Human interaction and common psychology is probably the same everywhere, not just in music, but that short comment that “they must be confident” just got me thinking, Cause the question is if the girls are getting the same thing in return.…?

Small things are actually saying a lot about the “studs” in bands. I used to think Nikki Sixx was cool, but he is screaming so loud for attention on a daily basis that I’m beginning to feel sorry for him. I wonder if he feels his life would even be worth living if all that attention was taken away from him for a week or two? Would he survive

I don’t “look up” to rock stars the way I used to anymore. The internet has given away too much about them, When they’re not content with the attention and admiration they are already getting, but are begging for more through their Twitters and Facebooks, it just starts getting ridiculous.

I don’t mind the “normal” updates – I’m talking about those who need to let the world know when they went to take a dump and how much they produced, that sort of thing…Let us have a little bit of mystery at least, please. :-)

It’s just an interesting thing to sit and reflect on, on a Sunday evening….


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